The Karate Kid

Ok here are the things you are interested in.
[x]-Bad guy has facial hair
[xx]-Dead family member
[]-Bad guy “wants to deal with it myself”
[] -“NOOOOOOOOO!!!”
[]-Someone gets impaled
[]-Someone gets a limb/head hacked off
[]-Someone explodes
[]-Someone dives out of the way of an explosion
[]-“I want him alive”
[]-Hard ass chick
[]-Runs out of ammo
[]-“We got company”
[x]-Character that doesn't follow the rules
[]-Wilhelm
[xxxxx]-Cocky douche bag
[]-Someone/something farts,poops,pukes,gets hit in the junk, or gets some sort of bodily fluid besides blood squirted,thrown,or splattered on them.
[x]-Bad guy has a theme song
[x]-Token black guy
[]-Black guy dies first
[]-“Aw hell no”
[]-SSSSLLLOOOWWW MMMOOOTTTIIIOOONNN!!
[x]-Old man mentor
[]-Animal/robot/sidekick for comedy relief
[]-Guy named Jack
[x]-Bad guy uses a pun
[x]-Crotchety old man
[]-4th wall breach
[x]-Scenery shot to eat up time.
[]-Uncomfortable scene where cute guy/girl finds out unattractive friend wants to be more than friends or likes them as more than a friend.
[x]-Bad guy laughs at own joke.
[]-Dead body.
[xx]-Main Character says something blatantly obvious.
[]-intro with narrative back story.
[]-ASSHOLES that need to be castrated due to violent acts and crimes committed on children.

I remember watching this movie as a kid a couple of times. Ok until I wore out the tape. Now that I am watching it much later, I could barely stomach the movie. It was everything I had in me to finish it. Yeah yeah endearing coming of age blah blah blah. Daniel is a pussy. There is no way you can learn enough karate in 6 months to even fake it at a championship let alone win unless the people you are fighting are idiots. I know I know doing yard work teaches karate. NO, it teaches how to block against some focused punches and kicks thrown a specific way that is it.

Then let's talk about the competition. In the second to last fight he gets kicked in the upper leg. It drops him to the ground like a crying bitch. Then the badass he was fighting runs and kneels next to Daniel and tells him "I didn't want to do it Daniel I swear". If you didn't want to do it asshat then why did you. No wonder this guy left acting to become a motivation speaker with a blackbelt in exercise. (Yes it is true it is on his website). So Daniel gets to the last round. *SPOILER ALERT*. He gets the win using the crane technique invented for the movie that according to myagi is unstoppable. That is as long as your opponent for gets to dodge or duck. Daniel succeeds with the kick and wins the tournament. Then to top it all off the person who was the leader of the gang that kicked Daniels ass on numerous occasions gives him the trophey while fighting back tears and smiling and says "You're alright Daniel". Apparently 6 months of yard work and focused defence earns you the respect of a gang of thugs. Thanks for that lesson hollywood.

I will never watch this movie again. I can only hope the remake has more to offer. While I will miss Pat Morita, Will Smiths kid is a better actor than Ralph Machio.

I am sorry to the people that like this movie if my review seems harsh. If you liked the movie, please continue liking it for the reasons you do and forget my review.